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I suppose that our
natural fear of the unknown is meant for a healthy safeguard.
Unfortunately, however, it can cause some to fear the spiritual rebirth
into everlasting salvation. Those that fear possible changes that might
occur in their lives could end up with no life at all in the hereafter.
That's the tragedy of it.
I'm offering this account of my experience only because I believe it could be of help to someone. I'm sure the spiritual rebirth isn't the same for everyone. I was very naive before and after being born again. Perhaps that made it easy for the Holy Spirit to work through me as He did. But this I know by the evidences, I was (and still am) under His constant care, providence, and protection through it all. There is no greater love than God our Father's vastly powerful divine love. And, this, I would especially like for you to know. Through my search, study, and spiritual experience I have come to understand that early in the life of each of us God plants in us an unction to seek Him and find Him (just as He said through His prophet Jeremiah ~~ Jeremiah 29:11-13). I never repeated a so called "sinner's prayer" after anyone to get saved. The Holy Spirit led me every step of the way to bow down at the feet of Jesus Christ and receive His baptism with the Holy Spirit. I am convinced that He has done, or is doing, the same for you.
There was a Bible on a table in the
living room when I was growing up. I do not recall having ever seen anyone
read it. We attended a "main-line" church for years. Strangely, none of us
knew anything about getting saved, salvation, or getting born again. No
one from the church ever talked with us personally about such things --
just about the church and its activities. I understood neither eternal
life after death nor how to prepare for it. I felt that whether I would go
to heaven or to hell was just a matter of chance, and that I couldn't know
which until it happened.
After World War Two, In 1947, I left my college studies for a year to
work and travel. For a while I worked on a seismograph party searching for
oil near Ferriday, Louisiana, in the swamps by the Mississippi River.
Noticing that I was a bit unlike the other workers, one of the party
members, who had become a friend, asked me why I was tramping around doing
that kind of work. My answer surprised me. I never knew what made me say
it. I told him I was searching for God. Immediately, something inside told
me that it was true. My friend appeared to realize the truth of it also.
In time it became an abiding quest resting quietly inside of me and moving
me from time to time into certain paths in my life.
The search during the fifteen or so years that followed had led me
along paths and into experiences that confirmed to me that there is a
spiritual reality, and that there is a life after the flesh body dies, and
that people can actually be translated spiritually (born again) even
before the body dies. I had bought a New Testament Bible that included the
Psalms and proverbs. It became a treasured possession that, eventually, I
was reading every day.
Later,In 1970, my wife and I discovered and pondered over the Mark
16:15-18 Bible passage about signs and miracles that would follow the
rebirth, and we wondered why we were not seeing any evidence of it in the
churches. Our pastor was unable to explain it to us.
Soon after that, in 1971, I received a job tranfer, and we moved from
northern Virginia to Hampton, Virginia. We had been in Hampton only a
short time when a new friend invited my wife to attend her church. We did.
It was a congregation of about thirty who were meeting in a building
rented on Sundays. They were what some might call a "splinter group" that
had broken away from a Baptist church. We were greatly impressed with
their zeal for the Lord Jesus and with their Bible knowledge.
By the time of our third meeting with them we had begun to realize that
they had attributes and spiritual gifts like those explained in Mark
16:17-18 and Chapter 12 of First Corinthians. We were overjoyed to have
found them.
In only a couple of months we learned much about the kingdom of God,
about the gospel, about Jesus Christ, about the Holy Ghost, about being
born again, about being filled with the Holy Ghost, about eternal life in
Christ, and about other related matters. Their discussions with eachother
were lively, enthusiastic, and spiritually deep. We felt ourselves being
drawn nearer and nearer into the richness of a close personal relationship
with our Lord Jesus and into a love for Him such as we had never known
before. A constantly yearning desire to completely surrender ourselves to
Him saturated our souls.
During the preaching portion of the meeting on 30 January 1972 my wife and I became enveloped in a bright gentle sparkling light. We were elated as we found ourselves lifted into a spirit of love, joy, and peace. If any of the others noticed this they did not mention it during the random informal fellowship that always followed the preaching. And though our feet were on the floor, we had the sensation of walking about a foot above the floor as we moved about in the fellowship. This sensation lasted until we got into the car to go home. The love, joy, and peace continued, and we knew that our Lord Jesus had blessed us with being born again into His newness of life. During the informal fellowship the next Sunday, 6 February 1972, a small group was laying hands on one of the members and praying for her healing. In the conversation that followed, I asked them if it were possible for me to receive the infilling of the Holy Ghost. Their immediate answer was a resounding, "YES!". Suddenly the hands of eight of them were laid upon me as they prayed fervently in English and in unknown tongues. Quite soon then I lost control of my tongue as it went into a rapid stutter for a few seconds and then began speaking in a lanuage I had never heard. The entire fellowship then began thanking God with uplifted hands and singing and speaking praises to the Lord Jesus. Before the meeting adjourned, the pastor's wife said to me, "Well, I see that you have now received the indwelling of the Holy Ghost". All of this was so new to me, and I had so much to learn. I asked her, "How could you know that?", and she answered, "Because you are glowing". Being unsure what she meant, I asked, "Do you mean that my face is all aglow with happiness?". "No. I mean that you are glowing. Light is shining forth from within you. We all see it.", she said. From that time on I found, and still find, myself led by the Holy Spirit and living in an entirely different realm of life.
I could not, of course, tell you all that took place. There was simply too much of it. It was continuously unfolding and overflowing my entire being day by day. I have selected only certain happenings which might provide a preview for some who are desiring the spiritual baptism by Jesus into the body of Christ -- and for others also who just want to know. I have tried to keep the narratives brief. I was enthralled. The Holy Spirit continually filled me to the overflowing with love, joy, peace, and purity. Hearing the least little cuss word felt like a dagger stabbing me. Regardless of what activity I may have been engaged in, love and praise and worship for God flowed incessantly from my inner being. The Holy Spirit gave me a gift of understanding the Bible scriptures that I had been reading and wondering about. And I thought, Of course! Why doesn't everyone understand something so clear and so simple? The Holy Spirit's immediate answer was, Why didn't you? The day after the infilling I awoke speaking with the deepest, purest, smoothest bass voice I had ever heard. The next day my voice was back to normal. During that first week, while working on something in the backyard, I clearly perceived the invisible spiritual presence of Satan. My heart sank within me as it seemed to cry out Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? I was led into the empty grounds of a nearby highschool where I had to wrestle against spiritual temptation in a take-over attempt by the devil. After about four hours I returned home restored and reassured. I later realized that this was God's wilderness pattern that He demostrated to us in the trial of the Hebrew nation and, also, even with the devil's temptation our Lord Jesus. Whatever God ordains, He puts to the test, purifies it, and implements it. After that, my fifteen-year-old son's hand got pinched between two pieces of metal, leaving a deep blood blister in his palm. I was grieved with compassion as I washed his hand at the kitchen sink. I prayed out loud, "Oh Lord, take this out of my son's hand and put it in mine". Within two seconds, I saw the blood blister vanish. I immediately looked at both of my hands. It wasn't there either. About a month had passed when I awakened from an afternoon nap and was sitting on the side of my bed. Suddenly I was caught away in the spirit and found myself in a quiet room with no walls -- a room that was filled with a soft golden glow. Before me was an open coffin on a bier. I heard the voice of my Lord Jesus quietly speak, "Do you see the coffin before you?". "Yes, Lord," I replied. "Are you willing to get into the coffin and die for me?" I was alarmed. "It is not natural for a man to want to do anything like that, Lord. But if it is your will that I die for you, then it is my will also," I said. "It is my will", spoke the Lord. I got into the coffin and laid there with my arms folded across my chest. Changes immediately began. The lining became a soft shiny silk. The coffin lid moved and became a bonnet above my head. The coffin became smaller and turned into a baby crib. I became smaller also and found myself lying in the crib as an infant. Just as suddenly as I had been caught away in the spirit, I was just as suddenly back in my flesh body again. Surely you know I pondered this. After a couple of weeks I asked the Lord the reason for it. He explained that it was His confirmation of my having been born again in His spiritual regeneration (id est, His baptism). The Lord purifies us spiritually, and He wants us to purify our surroundings and activities also. Bit by bit, whether in a worship service or in some miscellaneous activity, the Holy Spirit often helped me with promptings of things I should do. For example, "The bottles of whisky in the kitchen cabnet must go!" came not word for word, but as a strong clearly packaged thought or prompting. The kitchen reeked with the smell of it as I poured the whisky down the kitchen sink drain. As I did, the children were rejoicing and singing out, "Daddy kicked the habit! Daddy kicked the habit! ...." Also, all of the questionable literature and anything else that was offensive to God in any way had to be discarded. The Holy Spirit would identify such to me. They had to be thrown into the garbage. To give them to someone else would have been to expose them to sin. And that would have been a sinful violation of God's Golden Rule. At various times my Lord has spoken with me verbally in the Spirit for reasons of His own. These four happenings should suffice for examples. (1) Rather than uproot my family, I resigned an executive position in a federal headquarters that was to transfer to Chicago, the Holy Spirit having assured me of His support. On the way home I stopped by the church I was attending. That day the usually locked front doors were unlocked, and I went in. The Lord spoke to me verbally in the Spirit saying, "See where the large Bible at the pulpit is opened. It will show you what I have in store for you". I went forward and looked. It was open at The Book of Job. I have been privileged to suffer persecution for Christ's name sake ever since. (2) Later that year (1972) The Holy Spirit moved upon me to attend a church that had perhaps the holiest worshipfulness I have ever seen. Once there, I asked the Holy Spirit why He wanted me to be there. He answered verbally in the Spirit at length. The leadership of that church had committed what was considered to be spiritual adultery with persons of a false church who corrupted them. I was to witness the death of the church as the Holy Spirit departed out of it -- but not out of its saints in whom He dwells. He enabled me to perceive His movement from the lower left side of the sanctuary and out through the upper part of the wall on the right side (as if it were the air passing out). The consequences were immediate. The spiritually "charged" atmosphere of the sanctuary was suddenly gone. Alarmed people began asking, "What's wrong?", "Does anyone else see this?", "What has happened?". During the following year the demise of the church was further confirmed by happenings that included their Pastor being ousted because of adultery. They were never able to get and keep a replacement for him. The born-again members eventually drifted away, and the false church invaders took over the real estate and remaining resources. (3) One Summer day in 1973 I was standing beside my bedroom window with nothing in particular in mind. Suddenly my Lord spoke to me verbally in the spirit with a stern tone: "I have been calling you for many years into my ministry, and you have not responded. Now I am calling you for the last time. If you do not respond now, I will never call you again." I hastily replied, "Lord, I respond!" And I did. (4) I had been working in real estate sales and construction, but desired to return to a secular career in the federal service. One morning in 1976, I awoke and was putting my shoes on when the Holy Spirit again spoke to me verbally in the Spirit saying, "The hiring freeze at the Naval Air Station has been lifted. Go there and see Caroline Ward. She will have a job for you". She did. I began my federal career anew at a low grade and worked my way back up -- with the Lord's help at each step along the way.
Well, I suppose I've told you enough about how our Lord has worked through me after the regeneration. At the time of this writing I have become an octogenarian, and as I think back over it all I am constantly reminded of the closing verse in the Gospel According to Saint John. As for the rest, let it suffice to say that our Lord Jesus did place me into His ministry concurrent with the secular employment that He also gave me. He did a number of works through me in the Hampton, Virginia, locality -- some of which was preparatory for the international evangelical crusade which the Holy Spirit later ministered through me for more than a quarter of a century. During that service, on two occasions, two different men mysteriously appeared to me calling me by name and insisting that I was an apostle, ignoring my disagreement. I have never been sure just what an apostle is, but of this I am sure: I was a lowly being, forgiven, enthralled, and ordained by Jesus Christ into His service. It was my lot to press on day-by-day with a zeal to do His will as it was revealed to me by the Holy Spirit. In retrospect, I know of no one so undeserving, yet so abundantly blessed by my Saviour than I have been. Truly, our heavenly Father's perfect love is without respect of persons. It is my hope and prayer that all of you who have read this account to its end will seek and receive our Lord Jesus' baptism with the Holy Spirit into the blessing of everlasting life in Christ; as have thousands and thousands of saints before us.
Sincerely in Christ Jesus our Lord, |